I See Defective People

{a variation of "I see dead people" from the movie "The Sixth Sense"} Today I got really bummed out because a human being has let me down once again. I won't go into details because it's really not about me, but someone close to me who is being hurt. I want to stick up for this person and really tell the other person off, but it's really not my job. Not right now anyways. It's hard to just stand by and watch someone else I love suffer though. So in my mind, I started thinking of all the faults of this person who is hurting someone close to me. And I started to really build up some intense negative feelings. I have a tendency to see defective people. Instead of concentrating on other people's good traits, sometimes I get in a tunnel vision and can only think of times when the person exhibits less-than-stellar behavior. It makes me miserable, and I know it. I do keep lists of things I appreciate, or am thankful for. So it's not like I don't realize it. But my default tendency is to look for people's faults. So today I was chatting with a friend online, when she said, "You're the one who didn't want to be a hermit", referring to my blog post earlier in the year, in which I said I wanted to be more social. But then people let me down. So in reply, I said, "D*mn you for reading my blog!" and she said "D*mn you for blogging!" At which time I started laughing really hard. I wish sometimes I have a magic pill that I can take and see everyone from a rosy angle. Life would be easier for me then. Sigh. Because of the events earlier in the day, I was really looking forward to going to the gym after work and pounding the weights. I only wished that we have a punching bag there too. For about 45 minutes, there was nobody at the gym but me. I listened to NPR, did 30 minutes of cardio, and the whole weight circuit, plus abs, and some free weights for biceps and triceps. I felt so much better mentally afterwards. Weird how that works, the connection between mental and physical.