Today would have been my mom's 66th birthday, had she not died from uterine cancer on Valentine's Day 2007. I know that she's in heaven, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt for those of us who love her here.
I scheduled my annual check-up with my doctor today, on purpose. I couldn't think of a better way to commemorate the day than to go to the doctor for my annual exam. My mom died of uterine cancer because she did not get regular check-up's and pap smears. Even when she had unusual post-menopausal bleeding, she didn't get it checked out. She had a phobia of going to doctors, and it cost her her life. Uterine cancer is over 90% curable if it's caught early. If it's caught early, they'll most likely only have surgery to remove the uterus, and there wouldn't even be chemotherapy or radiation involved. Instead, my mom's gone. I love her a lot, but sometimes I can't help but be angry that she wasn't strong enough to overcome her fear of doctors to save her life. To give me a few more years with her here on earth. To hold hands with my dad in their old age. To see her grandsons grow up. To help my dad with his ministry.
That's why I go to the doctor every year. Nobody likes to be prodded, poked, pinched... to disrobe and put on the flimsy hospital gown with a large opening. To feel cold instruments inserted into private places. But I do it, because I want to hold Todd's hand when we're old and gray. I want to see my nephews grow up. I want my sister to have a sister to call on the phone when we both have wrinkles and all our hair is gray.
My exam went well. I have good blood pressure, lung capacity, healthy breasts, healthy heart, and no lumps on my uterus or ovaries. I'm thankful. Very thankful. As I drove away from the doctor's office, I suddenly started sobbing uncontrollably. I miss my mom so much. I wish she were still around for her 66th birthday. I wish my dad didn't have to spend today laying flowers at my mom's resting place. I think I'll make it an annual remembrance to schedule my check-up on her birthday. It's my simple way of remembering her, while making a difference for those I love who love me too.
Aww...Christine...hugs to you sweetie. The pain of losing a loved one never completely goes away...but what a great way to commemorate your mother today.
ReplyDeleteChristine, I was touched by your writings....I miss my aunt, too.
ReplyDelete(((hugs))) It's a pain that never heals, isn't it? I ache for my mom today as I did that first night 17 years ago I had to spend without her. I still pick up the phone to call my dad, even after 5 years. And it just isn't fair.
ReplyDeleteThink about this..
ReplyDeleteWhat if you saved one person's life by posting this information? What if one person that is just as scared of doctors as your mom (and possibly having the same symptoms) decides to make that appointment today?
I can't think of a better way to honor your mom than this post.
Hugs to you.
Awww Christine, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be. Thinking of you! {{Hugs}}
ReplyDeleteBig hugs Christine! I lost my grandmother last year and we were incredibly close - She was more like a mother to me. Your post is beautiful, thank you for sharing with us.
ReplyDeleteOh, Christine... sending you many hugs and prayers!!! And thank you for reminding me how important it is to look after our health. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 5 years ago and praise God is cancer free now but I still haven't gone to get checked even though I keep thinking I should. You've given me the kick in the pants to call the dr. and make that appt - THANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you on this sad day. But the way you are honoring your mother is so wonderful. Life is so important, and caring for ourselves is really to care about our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteMaybe through what you've told us about your mother, someone will make that appointment now. Very sorry your mom had to die that way.
ReplyDeleteYour message is one that honors your mom and hopefully prompts others to do everything they can to be here for their loved ones.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your message and your pain with us. I too miss my mom every day since she died 5 1/2 years ago. I believe I'll be with her again, but for now, I have days where missing her brings me to tears.
((Hugs))
Oh Christine...how I feel your pain! I have the same feelings that you do. Know that I'm praying for you today. The "anniversary" days are the hardest.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing way to honor your mom.
ReplyDeleteThank you Christine for sharing this, I am soooo sorry you lost your mother to something that could have been treatable, but way to put it out there so that others who are nervous, frightened or just seem to think it won't be them will be encouraged to DO IT ANYWAY. I in my mid 30s now, I have many friends who have had cervical and ovarian cancer, even as young as 18 - they are all healthy now and made it through, but without the routine annual check - two of them probably wouldn't still be here to raise their own children.
ReplyDeleteYou are a blessing to sooooo many around you, for sharing things so openly and honestly.
wow christine, i happened upon this post and i had no idea about your mom... it has to be frustrating it could have been prevented, and i know phobia of medical visits are real. in fact, the gynecologist is my sensitive spot and i put it off to the very last minute every time. i was just telling my friends and pete how it was getting poked and prodded at my first baby OB appointment (and pete was in the room for my pap smear, who weird is that?) but this you're right - it is important, not just for yourself, but for those who love you. poked, prodded, and pinched is the perfect way to describe it. uncomfortable, but life-saving. powerful post!
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