Double Winner

Tuesdays for me are the day I both a) am the guest poster here at listgirl.com and b) Toastmasters day. I'm sure I've mentioned that before. My role today at Toastmasters was to evaluate another person's prepared speech. I was also called upon during one of the other regular activities - to give an impromptu 90-second mini-speech. At the end of the meeting the club votes to decide who did the best in those two areas along with the best prepared speaker (which I did not do today). As it turns out, I received the most votes in both evaluation and impromptu speaking. Two ribbons for me, yaaaaay! It's fun to win; everyone agrees. The "competitions" I participated in today are low stakes affairs. These victories are not things I would brag about or something that would be recognized by anyone as a major accomplishment. Their purpose is mostly fun with maybe a smidge of incentive to participate. But some competitions are more serious. How about interviewing for a job? Perhaps I might enter a songwriting contest where the winner gets a cash prize. Listgirl has entered and occasionally won scrapbooking contests with prizes. The amount that I invest in my own performance and results is a personal choice that I make. As an adult, I can probably live with myself whether the result is exhilaration, disappointment, or indifference. The whole issue becomes thornier when kids are involved. How much pressure should kids put on themselves or have put on them by parents when it comes to their activities - be they school, athletics, or the arts? The American way is to encourage personal growth through competition. Sure, we all recognize that it can go overboard with bad parental behavior. But the premise of the benefits of competition is generally agreed upon. However, I have met some people who sing a different tune. They feel that competition - which always produces losers - is an inherently bad thing for children to participate in. This concept is explained clearly in this article. Excerpt:

Most people lose in most competitive encounters, and it's obvious why that causes self-doubt. But even winning doesn't build character; it just lets a child gloat temporarily. Studies have shown that feelings of self-worth become dependent on external sources of evaluation as a result of competition: Your value is defined by what you've done. Worse -- you're a good person in proportion to the number of people you've beaten.

It's a fact of life that there are winners and losers - especially in capitalism. The job interview I brought up before is a real-world example. So I have a hard time accepting that real-world experience won't help children deal with winning and losing down the road. But the opposing argument at the least serves as a cautionary tale that competition needs to be framed in a proper context at all times. I haven't ruled the other side's way of thinking out yet. Maybe I'll bring it up at my next Socrates Cafe to get some more perspectives. Do any of you parents out there have thoughts about this? Next week at Toastmasters I will be giving a prepared speech. (It's about brain damage and music therapy.) I'll let you know if I win the "best speaker" ribbon.