Today was Valentine's Day and Chinese New Year, but I didn't celebrate either one.
Today marks three years since my mom died from cancer. We haven't celebrated Valentine's Day since then. It has been a sad day for me. I went with my dad, Shelly, and Todd to my mom's resting place and gave her some flowers. My dad was sad, probably more so than last year even. We took turns recalling one memory of my mom. I talked about how much my mom selflessly served the Lord during my teenage years. Our church youth group met at our house every Saturday morning. Some of the kids looked forward to it every week because their home life weren't the greatest. My mom always made them feel welcomed and provided a lot of refreshments and snacks. She did this tirelessly and selflessly for years. She always put other people's needs before her own. I know she's being rewarded with a special place in heaven. Todd talked about how he and I have discussed that mom never imposed her needs on anyone. It was difficult to know what her opinions and favorite things were, because she never put her own needs first. I wish that she would have shared more of her opinions with me. I'm still sad and I miss her so much. Todd took some candid shots of us at the cemetery but I haven't looked at them and not sure if I feel up to it. I love Todd and love to celebrate our love together, but I kind of hate Valentine's Day now.
Your Mom was obviously a special lady that touched so many lives. This is one of those times where it is hard to relay what we know in our minds (that she is in joy now with God) to our hearts (where you feel the whole that she left). I've been learning to focus more on who God is: our Lord, the King, creator, protector, provider, healer, holy, soverign, righteous, love. I am praying for you right now that you feel God's arms around you filled with his comforting love.
ReplyDeleteI'm always looking for beautiful motherly role models. Your post is a wonderful reminder of the selfless side of motherhood, as well as the selfless side of walking with Christ. Your mom incorporated both into ministering to young people..mothering them while pointing them to the cross.
ReplyDeleteOne of your mom's favorite things was you. (and later, Todd) And I know that it's hard to like Valentine's day, but the day is a beautiful reminder of a special lady that was characterized by LOVE. And not just a surface love, a SELFLESS LOVE that touched so many..and molded her daughter into a light for Christ.
Can't wait to meet her one day.
Praying for you.
Your mom was a great influence on a lot of kids. Not that many daughters can say that; most focus only on nourishing their own children's souls. I probably would have been one of those looking forward to those weekend youth groups at your house.
ReplyDeleteChristine, many prayers, sweet friend. I can't imagine how difficult this day is for you.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, Christine!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Christine!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your words of encouragement and prayers. It means more to me than you can imagine.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs and prayers for you and your family, Christine. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman who made a positive and lasting influence on all of those around her.
ReplyDelete(((HUG))) I am praying for you!
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you Christine. I know how much you miss your mom.
ReplyDeleteReaching out over the interwebs to give you a great big hug. Nothing I can say can ease the pain your are feeling. But, from your description of your mother, she was an amazing lady. I'm with Tracey....can't wait to meet her.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've wanted to try is to make a brainstorm list of all the things that come to mind about my mother. Maybe journaling would help with grieving today.
Much love to you...
I cried reading this... it is so touching and I can feel your love for her through this post. I hope in time you will be able to celebrate your love for her on this day and find some happiness again. Time heals all wounds, it is just a very painful journey getting there. For now, celebrate love for your husband and family any and every day and just don't worry about Valentine's Day. You have to do what feels right for you. Sending you virtual hugs across the net. ((((Hugs))))
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your loss, and the sadnes of your family. Unfortunately I don't have much comforting words, but I can see that you've got lots of support from around the net. I wish you lots of strength! * hugs *
ReplyDeleteAnd don't be sorry about not celebrating Valentines day. To me it seems as Todd and you celebrate your love every day. That should be more important than just squeeze it all in on one day.
I know this sounds insane, but if your mom is in heaven (and it sounds that way from the way she served God while here), then she's happy right now. She would want you to be happy, too, and for you to join her there when it's your time. It will seem like an instant to her since she saw you. It's okay to miss her, but try not to be sad that she's with Jesus. She isn't.
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